My suitcase has returned to my desk. I took down my name on the doorplate and stored it in the inner layer of the case of my tablet. Everything is just like the evening when I arrived last month.
My visit to Perimeter was short, so short that the only environmental change I noticed was the gradual blooming of some sword lilies in Uptown Waterloo in my evening walks. Still, it was long enough. Enough to mark an inflection point on my attitude and approaches — if there’s still time to recover.
The use of words like “sanctum of physics” is not productive: it adds an artificial sense of detachment. The “sanctum” has blackboards, dining halls, reception rooms, communication rooms, and restrooms. It is built for humans, thinking. The people here also work through calculations line by line.
In the past year, my research progress has been slow, stagnant is euphemism, and it has brought about a restless and flirtatious mindset. I think this place and the people here have been excellent mirrors for me: since I have chosen a distant goal of science, there is no room for wishful thinking, that I can cheat out of challenges and endurance — that there’s anything worthy other than to put my pen to paper and work,
Marking the onset of my PhD year four
At Perimeter
Yourong Frank Wang 